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Chris Griffin
Christopher Cross "Chris" Griffin is the middle child of the Griffin family. He is 13 in the first three seasons, 14 after the fourth season and 15 sometime in the sixth. In The Real Live Griffins, he is portrayed by Philip Seymour Hoffman. Personality Though Chris is not the brightest one in the family, he is particularly coherent and makes a good point when talking about movies. Chris deals with the problems that most pubescent boys face: acne, girls, and school. He is 15 years old and is enrolled at James Woods Regional High School. Chris has been known to feel self-conscious about himself, especially his weight. In fact, on the Volume 1 DVD Boxset, it stated that Chris "wouldn't hurt a fly, unless it landed on his hot dog". He was referred to as an "Elephant Child" when he was born. Chris is also willing to do something as drastic as to convert to Judaism order to do better in school, specifically math. He once believed his low grades in mathematics were caused by himself when he tickled his brain by sticking an army man's rifle into his nose and accidentally puncturing a lobe. Chris both enjoys and excels at drawing and once almost managed to become a famous artist in New York, but failed when he refused to estrange his family. Chris also has an apparent physical attraction to his mother, Lois, which was noted in the commentary of Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story. It is also seen in E. Peterbus Unum (where he hands Meg a note that reads "I think Mrs. Griffin is hot.") and in Model Misbehavior (where he says that he'll masturbate to pictures of her). Chris - like his father - is obese, has a low IQ and no common sense; however in the episode Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High Brian refers to Chris's class as intelligent before going to teach remedial English. Also, various story lines give him autistic savant talents, such as artistic ability, and detailed knowledge of film and TV actors. Both he and Peter have also demonstrated proficiency in the use of American Sign Language. Occasionally he exhibits unexpected, uncharacteristic insights, such as when he gives Peter and Lois a detailed and articulate lecture on the effects and disadvantages of marijuana. He has also demonstrated an ability to quickly adapt to new cultural surroundings. For example, when the family moved to London, England in Patriot Games, Chris was the only member of the family who was able to quickly learn and speak cockney English. Chris is usually depicted as naive to the point of blamelessness. However, when Peter and Lois were having a fist fight, Chris cheered for Peter, telling him to "kick her ass!" Also, in Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story, when Lois and Peter are trying to make out, the children mistake it for a fight and Chris says "I don't know what they're fighting about, but I think Dad's winning. Go Dad!" In a running gag, Chris is regularly tormented by an evil monkey who lives in his closet but has recently slowed down a bit. In Emission Impossible, it is revealed that Chris was born as an accident, due to a broken condom. As a result, Peter and Lois filed a lawsuit against the company and bought the house they currently live in. In Peter's Daughter, Lois revealed that she smoked and drank a lot when she was pregnant with Chris to try and incite a miscarriage, but chickened out halfway through the pregnancy. This may be the explanation for Chris' stupidity and other anomalies. Also, it is known that Chris possesses an abnormally large penis. While Chris is better treated than Meg, he is usually more subjected to Peter's thoughtlessness, since Peter frequently neglects Chris in favor of other children or himself, and often accuses Chris of being "needy." Unlike Peter, Chris also doesn't seem to dislike Meg as much, merely having a rather extreme sibling-rivalry relationship. Chris is generally mild-mannered and friendly, but is often rude to others when angered, such as in Long John Peter, when he both insulted Joe Swanson for his handicapped status, and hit Brian with a chair just to go back to the vet and see a girl who broke up with him. Another example was in Movin' Out (Brian's Song), when Brian just came back after being dumped by Jillian, and for no reason, Chris said, "Welcome home, asshole!" (in the Fox and syndicated airings, he says "Welcome back, douchebag!"). In the Season 3 episode When You Wish Upon a Weinstein, Chris almost converted to Judaism after Peter told him that Jews are smarter and more successful. Lois came to Chris's bar mitzvah to end the conversion, and a crowd of angry Jews chased after them. However, in Family Goy, he would find out that he was already Jewish. Also in Season 3, it is revealed by Brian that Chris' favorite Ice cream flavor was Chocolate Chip. Family Relationships Chris has the closest relationship with his father Peter Griffin. However, in The Son Also Draws and If I'm Dyin', I'm Lyin' he seems a bit afraid that he doesn't live up to his father's expectations. He and Peter enjoy competing, even though Chris almost always loses to his dad. In He's Too Sexy for His Fat, Chris seems more upset with his father than other episodes, due to Peter getting much more physically fit compared to the fat Chris. In a few episodes, (those listed above included) Peter does seem disappointed or ignorant to Chris. Chris seems attracted to his own mother in several episodes. In Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story, he even seems turned on to a lesbian conversation his mother has with him. In E. Peterbus Unum, he also passes Meg a note in their home school that he thinks "Mrs. Griffin" is hot. In early seasons, Chris has a sibling rivalry with his older sister Meg Griffin, which Peter and Lois often get frequently annoyed of. Later on, however, he and Meg seem to start bonding, which Meg seems to like (Perhaps because of Chris being the only person in the family who seems to truly care for her). In other episodes, such as Stew-Roids, their rivalry is brought up again. Chris seems to be the only member of the family (besides Brian) who is completely aware of Stewie being an evil genius. Despite this, Chris seems to enjoy Stewie's company, although he is often the guinea pig to Stewie's experiments (although he usually doesn't know it. Chris is often shown to be hostile toward Brian. in North by North Quahog, he even yells at Brian and tells him that he has no soul (which seems to upset Brian). In Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High, he gets angry at Brian (who is at the time, his substitute teacher) for giving him an "F", then eggs his house with Peter (despite the fact that they live together). In Untitled Griffin Family History, he yells out that he hates Brian, and in Movin' Out (Brian's Song), he openly calls Brian an "Asshole" for no reason other than to make fun of him with the other members of the family. In Long John Peter, he also hits Brian with a chair (which gives Brian two black eyes, several broken bones, and bends his nose to the right) just so he can bring him to the vet to see his ex-girlfriend. Although he seems to care a bit for Brian (he once pulls out mint dental floss out of Brian's anus). Sexuality While possessing incomplete-at-best sexual knowledge—in Love Thy Trophy Chris is convinced babies come from the Child Welfare Office— Chris in several episodes demonstrates a compelling interest in girls. In To Love and Die in Dixie Chris shows a romantic interest in a girl named Barbara. Later in the episode when he and his family are exiled to the South, he meets and befriends a person named Sam, who later kisses him despite being a boy. Confused about the kiss (and even saying it felt good), he confronts Sam, who's revealed to be a girl dressed in guy clothes. After talking to Sam, Chris feels opened enough to express his feelings for her. He felt nervous about talking to her, she suggested to him that he should pretend she was a male, and Chris happily agrees to making out (raising more questions about his sexuality). Even though they kiss at the end of the episode, their relationship wasn't established afterwards when he and his family returned home. In You May Now Kiss the...Uh...Guy Who Receives, he is attracted to a student named Alyssa, who is a young Republican; Chris becomes a Young Republican because Alyssa offers to let him touch her breasts (although he is not at first sure that's "something he wants"). He is often harassed by his neighbor, Herbert, an elderly pedophile. However, Chris always seems to evade Herbert's advances, either unwittingly or perhaps by acting on his instincts. In the episode Play It Again, Brian, Chris finally confronts Herbert by blatantly asking him: "Are you a pedophile? In Jungle Love, Chris runs away to South America to escape the bullying at school and joins the Peace Corps. He gets the entire tribe, whom he's staying with, to dance. By doing this Chris married the Chief's daughter, Loka. Their marital status has not been mentioned in any subsequent episodes. In Long John Peter Chris falls in love with a vet intern named Anna, who he asks out. Their relationship goes well until Chris (with Peter's advice) puts her down on a date to make progress, but Anna breaks up with him instead. At the end of the episode, they kiss and get back together. In Running Mates, E. Peterbus Unum, and Model Misbehavior, Chris describes his mother Lois as sexually attractive. In the episode FOX-y Lady, Chris defended Meg's position on Handi-Quacks by saying that "she's kinda hot". In the episode .Chris also comments openly about masturbation in several gags in the episodes Running Mates, The Fat Guy Strangler and Barely Legal. Ironically, in Holy Crap, grandfather Francis Griffin accuses Chris of masturbating when he was really just defecating by telling him that was he was doing in the bathroom was morally wrong and God can see it. He spends the rest of the episode holding in his waste (unaware that Francis thought he was masturbating) until Peter lets him "defy" his grandfather. In the episode And the Wiener is... it is discovered that Chris has a bigger penis than Peter. When Chris and Peter are in a sauna, Peter asks Chris whats wrong with his leg, only to figure out himself and say "Oh my God that's not your leg!" Chris is known to masturbate on Thursdays, according to the episode Barely Legal. Connie DiMico (a girl Meg's age, who is the self-described "most popular girl" at James Woods Regional High School) asks Chris out in Stew-Roids. She does so under the premise that she had already exhausted her dating relationships with all the popular boys and now - left with just the "unpopular" boys - promises to convert him into a suave, popular student. Connie had intended the relationship to be temporary, but she and Chris quickly hit it off and become a serious couple. At a party at the Griffins' house that weekend, Chris breaks off the relationship, having found interest in two other girls he had been kissing ... unwittingly teaching Connie a lesson in dating others simply to further her own status. In the episode Road to the Multiverse, Chris wins a gay man at the fair as a pet. Although this is clearly a one-time throw-away gag, its clear that Chris and the gay man have a good relationship, as Chris is more than happy to keep the Gay Man happily fed on compliments. What happened to the gay man afterwards is unknown. Fears He was tormented by the Evil Monkey that used to live in his closet, but now are friends. He is also in the habit of fearing seniors due to their history of paddling him. He even has nightmares of how Meg killed his other sister. Relatives Main Article: Brian Griffin's House of Payne/Referencesin and Pewterschmidt ancestors]] *Peter Griffin (father) *Lois Griffin (mother) *Stewie Griffin (brother) *Meg Griffin (sister) *Brian Griffin (dog) *Other sister (deceased sister) *Peter Griffin Jr. (deceased brother) *Mickey McFinnigan (paternal grandfather) *Thelma Griffin (paternal grandmother) *Carter Pewterschmidt (maternal grandfather) *Barbara Pewterschmidt (maternal grandmother) *Adolf Hitler (Great, Great Uncle via Peter Hitler) *Loka (First wife) *Vanessa Griffin (Possible future wife) Trivia *Chris's full name, Christopher Cross Griffin, is an homage to the singer-songwriter who goes by the same name. *He is now the least seen Griffin. (Not appearing as much in recent episodes.) *He is the only Griffin not playable in the family guy video game. (Meg and Lois are mind-controlled.) *Chris hair is possibly sun-bleached as he is the only blond in the Griffin Family. *In The Cleveland Show episode "Our Gang" Chris appears in a gag very similar to Brian Goes Back to College. He falls through the ceiling of Cleveland's house and says "Hi Cleveland." and Cleveland replies "Go back to Quahog." and he says "OK.". *He, along with Stewie, are the only ones who haven't been put in prison yet. *He was called a elephant child when he was born. *He may or may not be an android or cyborg as shown in Brian Sings and Swings.